Sheepdog Tip of the Day, After Combat tip 36

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Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, author of nine books dealing with the natural phenomenon of dying, says there is a set of response stages to death: denial, anger, bargaining, and acceptance. You might walk in the door after your horrible day and run smack into an angry spouse! Someone tried to kill their loved one and they feel helpless and frustrated that there is nothing they can do. At first they denied what happened but then they feel anger. It is important, therefore, that right now, while you are calm and rational, you ask yourself: "Who are they really angry at?" Are they angry at you? No. They are angry at the world that tried to harm their loved one, and in their confusion they might displace that anger onto you. Once again, can you see how this might distance you from your loved ones when you need them the most? You are a warrior. We talked before about surviving gunshot wounds. If you can take a bullet and drive on, you can certainly take a little displaced anger and drive on. Do not let your loved one's confusion and misplaced anger distance you from them at a time when you need them most. Hug them, hold them and cherish them. Wait for their emotions to pass, and know that they will still be there when you need them. And you will be there for them in the years to come, because your warrior spirit prepared you to survive this challenge.

Lt. Col. Dave Grossman, On Combat




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