Sheepdog Tip of the Day, After Combat tip 72
Across countless thousands of years, men have developed two rules of behavior after combat. These rules are not mindless, macho nonsense, they are valuable tools that have evolved at great cost. The first rule is that it is okay to weep at the funeral of a beloved comrade or family member. We mourn briefly, intensely and unashamedly, and then we get on with life. Lord Wavell, the supreme commander of the British forces in World war II wrote in his book, Other Men's Flowers, that "Heavy mourning, deep black edges, long widowhood, unrestrained grief are out of fashion, as they must be to a generation which has indulged in ...war." ... The second rule is that it is not okay to weep at the memory of battle. A warrior who does is like a firefighter who weeps at the memory of fire or a pilot who weeps at the memory of flight. The firefighter and the pilot can mourn comrades killed in fires and crashes but still find satisfaction in what they do. Combat is what warriors do, and if the memory of battle is unbearably painful to them, then they will have great difficulty doing it again. Like the widow of 50 years, the veteran must come to terms with what has happened, and he must de-link the memory from the emotions.
Lt. Col. Dave Grossman, On Combat
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Additional Resources
For PTSD, Shepherd Resource Group.